Envy

As I sit here and think about life, I found myself jealous of people who are free to be themselves; not that I am not genuinely authentic, but there are things in Christ that I know that are unacceptable. The Apostle Paul said that I am prisoner of Jesus Christ and a slave to righteousness. So no I am not living a fake life but on the contrary I am living someone else’s life. I am doing my best to emulate the life of Christ. Therefore, when I see the freedom of sin and know the fleshly joy that it brings I feel at times somewhat envious of a sinners false freedom. It appears that they say what they want to say, do what they want to do, and be whatever they want to be.

As I ponder the sinners freedom I also ponder their end. Psalm 73:8 Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou casted them down into destruction. I know that without repentance every person will enter hell. The sacrifice of a relationship with Christ ultimately gains you the reward of hell. This is the sinners recompense of reward. Party now pay later!

Being armed with the information of life (physical and eternal) in my soul, I realize that my envy only dwells on the physical plane of existence and that my sacrifice of the flesh will reap the benefits of Christ. Therefore, I subdue my fleshly desires for the path of righteousness.

There are times that I feel like I am playing in the marvel movie Venom. There is this thing in me that speaks to me. It wants freedom. It wants to do, say, and feel totally different than the spiritual life that I live. I want to make spirit led and spirit filled decisions. It wants to make flesh led and flesh filled decisions. It fights so effortlessly and is relentless with its suggestions and desires. Because of this I know without Christ I am a danger to myself. The last verse in Psalms 73 is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. After David identifies his envy towards the wicked, the goodness of relationship with God, but his stupidity of desiring a sinners life he just plainly says: But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works. A great cognitive relationship with yourself is powerful. Yet the only thing that can save you from you is the mind of Christ. Without the mind of Christ you are subject to the duality of human existence.

Psalm 73 King James Version
73 Truly God is good to Israel, even to such as are of a clean heart.
2 But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped.3 For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.4 For there are no bands in their death: but their strength is firm.5 They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they plagued like other men.6 Therefore pride compasseth them about as a chain; violence covereth them as a garment.7 Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish.8 They are corrupt, and speak wickedly concerning oppression: they speak loftily.9 They set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walketh through the earth.10 Therefore his people return hither: and waters of a full cup are wrung out to them.11 And they say, How doth God know? and is there knowledge in the most High?12 Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches.13 Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocency.14 For all the day long have I been plagued, and chastened every morning.15 If I say, I will speak thus; behold, I should offend against the generation of thy children.16 When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me;17 Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end.18 Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou castedst them down into destruction.19 How are they brought into desolation, as in a moment! they are utterly consumed with terrors.20 As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image.21 Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins.22 So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee.23 Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand.24 Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.25 Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.27 For, lo, they that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee.28 But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works.